This will probably be one of the shortest reviews ever for The Guest Whisperer.

Will Smith is a perfect guest! He’s fun, funny, personable, full of energy and just plain great. He listens, interacts, dresses appropriately, brings visuals, is deferential to the host, has great timing, great stories and makes them interesting.

Want to hear about him golfing with Tiger Woods? Tiger’s comment about Smith’s severely curving shot, “whoa, let’s get a skirt for that hooker!” Or maybe you want to hear about his daughter’s new pet frog, which turned out to be a 3-foot boa constrictor which will eventually turn into a 12 foot boa constrictor, “Jay, I’m on your show tonight as cry for help.” Or his prowess in the bedroom — he calls it Willagra.

There to promote his new film Hancock, about an alcoholic superhero, Smith talked about donning a harness for stunt flying in the film 70 feet in the air at 60 mph for two city blocks. “ You can be sure I’m not doin’ that again, Jay.”

He is a publicist or film marketing chief’s dream – coming off as a great guy doing a great interview. Watch it and you’ll feel like you’ve had a shot of adrenaline. That’s all there is to say.

On yet another visit to The View, Sarah Jessica Parker lived up to her high expectations as a fashion plate, as demonstrated by the beautifully striking extremely tight dress and excessively high heels. But the dress was so tight that apparently she forgot to bring the “fun” out with her.  While in the past she was all about being the gracious and charming star of “Sex and the City” film, this appearance was all Parker the producer. No giddy, girlish laughter here, she was serious and forthright. She discussed the daunting difficulties of taking on such a “long and wonderfully laborious” project two years earlier — think booking sound stages and securing production teams is fun? The thrill of getting the over-40 female audience to come to the film — 41% hadn’t even been to the movies in the two months prior to the release of SATC. There was a discussion of the 81 costume changes for her character in the film, only 60 or so that made the final cut. All interesting, but this wasn’t exactly The Actors Workshop, it’s still the gab-fest known as The View.

Now, I’m not faulting her for her earnestness, I’m just saying that the fun factor was missing…and that’s a shame. Could it be that ever Parker has run out of amusing things to say about the two and a half-hour film?

Judd Apatow is one of the few “behind-the-scenes” Hollywood people recently to cross in front of the camera, as evidenced by his recent appearance on The Tonight Show. Thanks to his successful films, 40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up, he is in demand as a talk show guest, and he did have a good rapport with Jay Leno. Apatow came dressed in a respectful suit, which he also did on a recent visit to The Daily Show with John Stuart.  A nice touch for the movie business today, where some of stars have given new meaning to the term “dressing down.”  (Yes, Mr. Sandler, we mean you.) And being primarily a writer and not a performer, he wisely didn’t try too hard to be funny.  He was, however, funny… in a natural, intelligent way. He joked about being roommates with the aforementioned Adam Sandler in college and how, even though he was pretty sure he was better looking than Adam (he brought a photo of the two of them to prove it), he had to admit he couldn’t even get Sandler’s overflow of girls at parties.

There to promote his new film, co-written with Sandler, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, which he calls an Israeli James Bond, Apatow offered his theory on the Middle East conflict. “Many Jews and Arabs worked on the film and got along great. So, it’s possible to have peace if you’re paid to work on an Adam Sandler movie.”

Not screamingly funny, but certainly thoughtful and quick.  Being one of Hollywood’s newly minted moguls, Apatow has found his niche primarily behind the camera, but he has the presence to pull off an occasional sit down stint as a star guest as well.

Jack Black knows how to make an entrance. Just watch him explode onto the David Letterman stage on his recent appearance – puffing his barrel-chest out, he worked the crowd, did a Kung Fu (Panda) inspired kick/turn and shed his black satin jacket, dropping it carelessly on the floor. He then proceeded to sit in the wrong chair…a nice, humorous cap to the wild antics. When Dave pointed out the mistake, Black shuffled like a reprimanded child, picking up his jacket (which, by the way, was now a gold satin jacket, having been turned inside out) and sitting in the proper spot. He went on to explain that his chest-puffing/gut-sucking-in was to test a new theory of his – that if you do something long enough, it will stay that way, like when you mother said “hey, don’t make that face all the time, it’s gonna stay like that.” When Dave asked how long he’d been trying it, Black said it was a brand new technique and then fondled his large pot belly until Dave asked him to stop “please quit playing with that!” Quite the opening salvo.
They went on to discuss his kids, his multi-colored hair (the result of a Ben Stiller film he just finished shooting) and a yak encounter he had, replete with photo.

I will say that I have never seen a talk show appearance where the object of the promotion (in this case Kung Fu Panda) was discussed as much as this. Dave kept going back to it and all aspects of it. They had clips of Black in the studio recording his voices, many of which he did live on the show, too. They even had a bit set up where he said a phrase live on the show and then had a clip of him saying the same phrase in the recording studio as if he had recorded it earlier. When they came back from the clip, he said “Yes! Nailed it.” Not sure it worked as well as they hoped, but they get an A for effort.

Jack Black is a force, full of unharnessed energy, crazy eyes, clever voices and delivery and sloppy, slangy speech, but he is prepared, funny, imminently watchable and, as Dave said in his introduction, “always entertaining.” That is true.

On a recent David Letterman show, Adam Sandler reaffirmed his ability to create memorable characters – not the guy sitting in the chair opposite Dave, but the guy in the clip from his new movie “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.” The guy in the chair was kinda schlumpy – dressed in faded, loose-fitting jeans and a t-shirt, nervous – shaking his foot a-mile-a-minute, and rehearsed – telling preplanned jokes, several of which were scribbled on his left palm as a reminder “in case I don’t know what I’m doin’ here tonight…gotta get it in there, you know.”

Sandler does have an every guy quality and his self-effacing humor is funny – he talked about his need to be careful because his two-year-old daughter is now repeating anything she hears…” I’m the biggest star in the world,” “The critics just don’t get me.” Funny, but even Sandler knew his “routine” was obvious saying “that was terrible, stupid” after one particularly bad one-liner.

Sandler rarely made eye contact when he was telling a story, although mercifully did look at Dave when he was asking him a question.  It’s an odd brand of nervousness from a star who is at the top of his game, but appears look at public appearances like this one as a chore rather than an opportunity to connect with his audience.  Even Dave commented that he hadn’t been on the show for over a year and by the end of the interview we all knew why.