I can’t think of a harder situation for a guest than being best known primarily as a comedic actor or actress and having to go on a national talk show to sell a drama.  Such was the plight of the always-entertaining Cameron Diaz, as she paid a visit to The Daily Show to promote “My Sister’s Keeper.”
Getting your “message” across in a Daily Show interview is always a risky proposition.  No matter what your agenda, the only guarantee that you will get the right promotion, is the giant poster of your film or book that adorns the back of the set.  Beyond that, any publicist who tells you different simply doesn’t watch the show.  The reality is, Jon goes where Jon wants to go, and that’s usually to the benefit of the show and the guest.  Now I’m not saying that getting your message through is impossible, especially if you are an attractive woman that would have rejected Jon in high school, or is an undeniable Shixa Goddess — credits that both could be attributed to Ms. Diaz.
The problem was, she just wasn’t properly prepared.  If you don’t know, in “My Sister’s Keeper” Cameron Diaz plays the mother of one child who is a leukemia victim and the other who was ostensibly born to be a compatible blood, marrow and organ donor to help keep her other sister alive.  When the second sister begins to resent that role, a legal battle ensues.  For any guest this would be a tough sell knowing that you are competing in the summer theaters with the likes of “Transformers” and “Harry Potter.”  Not that this type of film won’t find an audience as alternative fare, but Ms. Diaz couldn’t keep from harping on the fact that she and everyone who saw it were crying for days.  An admirable compliment for the cast’s performances, but deadly to those who a looking to pay money for a break this summer in the theaters.
Whatever happened to descriptions like “heartwarming,” “beautiful,” “moving,” and “honest?”  And you can never go wrong praising the acting of your fellow actors to fill time – something at least Jon Stewart took the lead on in mentioning Alec Baldwin’s performance.  Although he couldn’t resist commenting that the clip looked like the “saddest episode of ‘30 Rock’ ever.”
All in all some concerted prep was in order here and at the end of the day I can’t blame the performer, I blame the publicist or studio executive who booked her on the show and simply hoped for the best.  They got the worst.

Elizabeth Banks is clearly a personal favorite of Craig Ferguson’s.  In her most recent appearance any doubt of that was quickly dismissed, as he continued to try and find a crack in the 16 plus year relationship she has with her husband and the fact that this is the second time she has been on the show in the past 45 days.  Granted, she is in not one, but three films currently in release, but this appearance other than a clip to remind us that she played Laura Bush in W, had little to do with her roles in that film or her other two (“Role Models” and “Zack & Miri Make a Porno”) films.
Looking strikingly beautiful in a short red dress, Banks started the edgy banter by proclaiming that she was admittedly wearing “come _____ me shoes.”  Even Ferguson seemed flustered and believe me, it takes quite a lot to do that.  She then spiced it up a notch by putting her legs up on the desk, being sure to cover up anything that might haunt her in the future, or at least on TMZ the following night.  Then it was a not so subtle segue into a four-minute “poop” story for which she takes credit as an aficionado.  In this case I will not do it justice, so I advise you to watch the interview with a bottle of Pepto close by.
It all just added up to a curious appearance that while packing a high degree of entertainment/shock value did little for why someone would come on a talk show in the first place.  That being said, if Banks’ mission was to convince prospective producers that she has no problem handling any level of gross material they could throw at her, I guess she was a success.  But for the casual insomniac, I doubt if she won over any new fans or sold any tickets.  Look, I’m not slamming her for bad taste, just that the whole appearance seemed like a waste of time.  Yes, she is clearly a go to guest for Ferguson, but she’s clearly just filling time here and that doesn’t serve anyone.

Shannen Doherty made quite the first impression on Dave Letterman recently…an impression that started before she had even entered the building. Prior to her actual appearance on the show, Dave and Paul watched video of Doherty exiting her car and crossing to sign autographs for fans. Cameras captured her every move, from her short, shiny dress glinting in the sun to her high heels with the red soles, as wolfishly commented on by Dave and Paul in the slow-mo replay. Unfortunately, first impressions don’t always lead to good second impressions or good interviews.  Doherty wasn’t as “put together” this night as is necessary for a successful appearance on the Late Show.  The look and prep that guests put into hair, make-up and fashion goes a long way on Dave’s turf.  Perhaps, a long day of promotion in New York may have taken its toll.

(Note to publicist: I know schedules are tight and big apple hotel rooms mid-week prices are high, but isn’t a good appearance on Letterman worth one more night in town? – she must at least be getting a decent per diem from the CW based on the money they’re saving on Tori!)

Dave and Doherty did chat about her new show, redux 90210, so she achieved that goal. However, while she did have a few funny stories and retorts (several revolving around shoes), overall she was trying too way hard to be provocative.  You got the feeling she had planned the “spontaneous” moments and even though Dave helped when he could, she couldn’t quite pull it off.  Maybe that’s why she hasn’t been on the show in 13 years.

Doherty needs to learn to lighten up, get a little more rest, and be herself. That would leave the right kind of lasting impression.

I wonder if Kiefer Sutherland does some sort of Zen meditation before coming out for a talk-show appearance. It seemed that way on his recent visit to The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson to promote his new film, Mirrors. Sutherland is so unnervingly calm at times that it almost borders on boring. Any regular viewer of Ferguson’s high-energy antics would realize that this contradiction of styles could spell disaster for anyone’s appearance.

What happened was an interesting relationship with host Ferguson resulting in several mildly entertaining exchanges. When Sutherland mentioned he has shot the two-hour 24 prequel movie in Africa. Ferguson asked “Africa or South Africa?” Sutherland replied, “Is there a difference?” Ferguson jousted back with “[well,] one part is in the middle and one part is in the South…and then there’s that part around the top…what’s that called?…North Africa!” (So much for the awkward geography lesson.)

And later, in a discussion about hippos in Africa, Ferguson trapped him once more warning that hippos have very strong “unions” and Sutherland should be careful. Caught off guard again, Sutherland finally got the joke and then admitted to the audience that “My whole evening now is just about trying to derail him…and it’s impossible to do.”

Believe it or not, they did finally get to the movie…but only after Ferguson had said they were done with his patented bantering. I think even he realized he hadn’t done his job very well either and needed to talk a little (very little) about the film. Literally less than a minute.

So, to wrap up, Kiefer Sutherland’s appearance was nice. Nice is not great. Great is what you want. I’m not saying you need to jump up and down and be crazy, but you do want to have a certain level of energy and excitement that is going to play well with a high energy host.  Sutherland knows better, but sometimes he just doesn’t seem to care.
Good thing he has that hit TV show, at least for now!

In case you were wondering, there is no such thing as a “safe” interview anymore. If you are in the public eye and have suffered a public embarrassment, the road to rehabilitating your image by using an innocuous appearance, is getting harder and harder to find.  For years Larry King was the go-to guy, assuming Barbara Walters wasn’t interested in mothering you, if you were trying to make a comeback.  But somehow King either became embarrassed that his “legacy” was going to include a reputation as a kiss-up interviewer, or someone at CNN insisted that he stop worrying about being everyone’s “friend” and pay more attention to asking the questions that his audience was clamoring to hear.  (Thank you Anna Nicole Smith!)

Now even an appearance on Regis and Kelly no longer guarantees you the softball questions.  However, you can at least rely on them to not be obnoxious about it.  Tatum O’Neal got that wake up call when she couldn’t hide from her recent past on the show.

Regis began the interview by saying she’d had a couple of rough months (understatement of the year) and asking how she was doing. O’Neal said “I’m well, thank you. Thank you for asking.” Kelly offered appreciation of how honest and human she was and O’Neal, often looking at the floor, and at times uncomfortably seeking approval from the audience, said that it’s a situation “no one should ever BE in.”  (Or at least get CAUGHT in.)  Now, notice that I’m not being specific about what that situation was…well neither was Regis or Kelly. No direct mention of the drug-related charges and arrest that took place near her New York home a few months ago.  It appeared that Regis and Kelly have no issues with their legacy as champions of the “softball” interview league, even though they knew their gossipy audience would have loved to hear more.  While O’Neal looked subdued in a black, one-shoulder-reveling short dress, she still displayed a sense of humor and spunk. She offered that her life had gotten better and better since writing her revealing biography, but that “sometimes I’m meant to go left and I go right. I don’t know why that is.”

They went on to talk about her move to N.Y. for her kids education and wellbeing, quite the opposite of the movie set upbringing she went through. She even admitted that she didn’t spend much time in high school, but is street smart instead of school smart.

The discussion then turned to her real reason for her appearance a new Lifetime movie “FabFive – The Texas Cheerleading Scandal,” based on a true story, in which she plays the principle of the school involved in the incident. O’Neal said she had to go outside the box for this character, because she lets her daughter get away with murder. She kept repeating “She’s so naughty!” It’s funny to see someone who has been through as much as O’Neal has use the word “naughty.” A bit of a dichotomy, and a subtle admission that she would most likely not be nominated for Mother of the Year.
O’Neal was an interesting guest because you never knew quite what to expect or what was going on just below the surface. There’s an edge, an intrigue to her. It’s not about entertainment, it’s about the unknown that could have come out of the situation.  However, you can’t loose sight of the fact that if Tatum O’Neal is the booking and she has just gone through a public trauma, your audience expectation is something more than the normal Regis and Kelly pabulum.  (You can be sure the promo department was keen on taking advantage of the potential of such an appearance.)  Even the softball champs can’t claim victory here.

What is with Kevin Costner?  He seemed so out of sorts on a recent episode of The Late Show with David Letterman. The words spacey, preoccupied, out of sync, on another planet come to mind. Aside from the fact that his hand was in front of his mouth playing with his beard most of the time, Costner just looked uncomfortable.

Costner and Letterman spent the first segment discussing wildlife as Costner elaborated on his penchant for killing fish (with a spear gun), “I’m a menace under the ocean.” They went on to talk about horses, rodeos, cats, bears and his recent wedding, which was more of an Outward Bound event than nuptial. There were a few laughs along the way, mostly provided by Dave.

After the break, Costner’s film Swing Vote was the topic of discussion. Being that Costner co- financed and produced the film (reportedly to the tune of $20 million), he obviously thinks quite highly of it.   “At the end of the day,” he proclaimed, “you know, it does exactly what I always hope a movie will do, you go out with a feeling you didn’t anticipate [having] going in.” He even compared it to his modern day classic, Field of Dreams.

Granted it’s not an easy transition from heartthrob to disheveled leading man/character actor, but Costner continues to work on it. I wish he would find that comfort level on the talk-show circuit (although, interesting enough, he was on Regis and Kelly the next morning and appeared much more at ease, with none of the relentless nervous habits.)

The twitchy, ill-at-east persona like the one Costner displayed on The Late Show will do little to protect his investment.

Holly Hunter looked like a deer in headlights on a recent visit to Tavis Smiley’s show. Not only didn’t she crack a smile when introduced, she hardly moved a muscle. I couldn’t tell if she was scared to death or just bored. During the interview, she made little eye contact with the host. It felt like she just didn’t want to be there. She, of course, answered her questions with her signature stutter/mumble…and the accent was ever-present – so much so that it became a topic of discussion. “It’s never been an issue,” she offered and added she so loves the “different accents of the country.”
Hunter did loosen up a bit when talking about her show Saving Grace. She commented that “the complexity of character is really what kind of keeps me compelled week after week to be excited about my work.”
Hunter takes her job very seriously and sees herself as an advocate for the characters she plays, “I’m the sole person there to represent who I’m playing. I am the character, but I’m also the protector of the character as well.” This is a good thing for Hunter, as she said, “I truly feel like I’m doing what I should be doing, built to do it. To express the particular, to express the detail. In the detail is the universe.”
Pretentious? Yes. Delusions of grandeur? Yes. Perhaps that’s why we sensed she felt she was too good to be there…as if she was “gracing” us with her presence.
I will give her that by the end of the interview, she had relaxed, opened up and I felt like there was a real person there…finally.

David Spade’s smarmy smugness just doesn’t work anymore; probably because as he is forced to admit, he is older now and therefore mellower, not a trait that helps edgy-esque comedy. One of the first sentences out of his mouth on his recent Tonight Show appearance was an apology for having to sit weirdly because of a bad neck. Good start when you are looking for sympathy from the audience, but not that usual cocky “I’m just f**king with you” Spade style.

He then proceeded to work his prepared material from beginning to end with cued help from Leno, who seemed only to be there only for the purpose of feeding Spade lines. Jay dutifully led Spade into his “bits” on family, dating and liposuction. At one point, Spade seemed to forget his own material and, looking lost, had to vamp until he got back on track. Focus, buddy.

The only real mention of his current series Rules of Engagement and the reason for his booking in the first place, was in reference to his having to attend the Superbowl at the Network’s request. He then went into “bits” on massage, Peyton Manning, and strip clubs. You never felt like he was actually having a conversation or being interviewed, instead you felt used and manipulated. You know it’s bad when you feel as sorry for Jay Leno as you do for yourself. ‘Nuff said.

There’s a reason host Jon Stewart has the ergonomic Aeron flight seat and the guests have an ordinary office chair: he doesn’t want his targets to get too comfortable.

Senator Chuck Hagel of Nebraska looked crisp and composed when he showed up to plug his book, “America: Our Next Chapter.” He did get a couple of uncharacteristically humorous zingers in while Jon wasn’t looking, but as entertainment, he had the misfortune to be a Republican who agrees with Jon on the folly of the Iraq war, so the sharpness of comic arrows that typically fly back and forth during a Daily Show conservative target was blunted by Jon’s eager nodding at his anti-war opinions. Without the sparring, the interview just fell flat.

Opinions were also at the heart of Sen. Hagel’s biggest problem on the show: he voiced a lot of them without interesting stories or new perspectives to back them up. Then there was his misreading of the audience for The Daily Show. Anyone interested in the ideas in his book would recognize the appeal right away. But this is a comedy show and the audience who shows up for the laughs, so viewers need to be seduced by the trademark humorous interplay, of which there was sadly little.

Two Whispers and two cardinal Guest Whisperer rules: have a pocketful of short, unexpected stories to hook listeners and viewers into your cause; and know the audience you’re facing and how to engage them.

From her sly humor on Comedy Central Celebrity Roasts to her humbling takes on her own image, Pamela Anderson’s wit and intelligence are reason enough to anticipate her popping up on any talk show. So this makes it all the more surprising that she fell flat on a recent Ellen DeGeneres appearance. I’m sure as you read this, you’re coming up with better repartee than Pam managed. (“Pam Anderson falling flat? Doesn’t that violate the laws of physics?!”) In her defense, she was tired and mildly injured from a tour with magician Hans Klok, but the conversation between her and Ellen was just sporadically entertaining — mostly when Ellen herself was doing the flirting and fawning — and often confusing.

While it was intriguing to hear about Pam’s normal life as a mother (and school traffic monitor!), her low energy and bland presentation made the insights a snooze. And Ellen chatting with her like an old friend was little help, since inside talk without careful clues leaves the viewer out in the cold. To her credit, Pam got in a good line when pitching her new film “Superhero Movie” (“I loved being invisible. My wig did most of the work.”) Yet the majority of even good lines were thrown away or stepped on.

It didn’t help that Pam was positioned between Matt Grant, an engaging Brit who is the current star of The Bachelor, and Margaret Cho, both of whom demonstrated charm and perfect timing. Her 2 Whisper rating highlights some cardinal rules for talk show appearances: get plenty of rest and have your people communicate the essential ammunition the show’s producers need to make you look good, you can’t leave a great appearance to chance!