Kathy Griffin is an acquired taste and whether you like that taste or not, you have to give her credit for originality. Griffin’s recent visit to Craig Ferguson’s show was interesting because for a good part of it, she was interviewing him. Things started out normally – Craig asking her about a risqué clip he had just shown from her series My Life on the D List and Griffin explaining her way out of it…but then she turned the tables and started grilling Ferguson about his political hosting duties at the recent White House Correspondents Dinner. He seemed to eat it up. A good move for a guest to know her host’s situation and use it to engage him in conversation about himself. They kept pace with each other in a witty political discussion even mentioning his rival, Jay Leno, who told Ferguson that when he hosted the Dinner, George Bush “grabbed his ass.”

The discussion stayed humorously political and then Craig regained his host position as Griffin continued her gay-themed existence. They finished the interview talking about her visit to Walter Reed Hospital and the fact that her comedy is problematic there, although she did say they “have the sickest senses of humor” and loved taking off their legs to drink beer out them.

Griffin and Ferguson played very well off each other, listening and reacting beautifully. She was bubbly, funny…and crass, but she wouldn’t be Kathy Griffin if she weren’t.

If John McCain doesn’t make it to President, he may have a future in comedy. On a recent Letterman show, in the monologue, Dave served up several McCain jokes:
“John McCain looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys.”
“John McCain looks like the guy who’s always got wiry hair growing out of new places.”
You get the picture. Then, surprising the audience, out walks McCain, who proceeds to volley back several Letterman jokes:
“You look like the guy who smuggles reptiles in his pants.”
“You look like the guy whose neighbors later say ‘he mostly kept to himself.’” Etc.
Not only were his comedic timing and delivery spot on, but he did a great impression of Letterman, hands in pockets, to boot!. “Maybe a little too funny,” was Letterman’s comment.

When he made his official guest appearance on the show a few minutes later, he continued his comfortable, casual, comedic style. He used prepared jokes to deflect a few questions, something he’s clearly mastered after appearing on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart more than 20 times – he actually holds the record. He even admitted that “candidates are a little repetitious from time to time,” but he still delivered the humorous lines in a fresh, first-time-you’ve-heard-them manner. Even when the conversation turned serious, he remained confident and calm, thoughtfully offering his take on the future.

Whoever wins the election, it will be refreshing to know that he or she is in on the joke, not the butt of it. John McCain can laugh with the best of them.

It is so refreshing when a guest just gets it.  Such is the case with Julie Bowen when she visited with Jimmy Kimmel. Not only was she funny, clever and quick with witty repartee, but she knew Kimmel’s audience all too well, as evidenced by the subject matter of the entire first half of the interview — her pregnancy enlarged boobs!  Bowen and Kimmel kept referring to them as if they were a separate guest. Bowen described their bigger-than-ever-size as a result of breast feeding and assured her host that “they are going away.” “Let me say goodbye to them,” Kimmel replied. Bowen added “This is it for the twins.” She played it beautifully.

When they shifted to talking about her new film, Sex and Death, 101, she said she chose the film because she got to make out with Simon Baker, which then led to a pithy exchange about the Sinatra clause — the designation of one person your mate will give you an “out” to sleep with. The subsequent banter was delightful.

The nice, refreshing thing about Bowen is her sparkle. She never tries too hard to shine. It just comes naturally, which in turn made Kimmel shine, as well — always a good trait for a guest on a talk show.

Today’s challenge: you’re a successful comic actress in your mid-30s. Your show, which was the highest-rated new sitcom last fall, disappeared like many series under the weight of the writers’ strike, and is about to return. So what do you do? If you’re Christina Applegate star of Samantha Who?, you pop up on Late Night to remind viewers that you’re still here. But what does a guest do when the host is having an off night, with a weak monologue and a luke warm comedy sketch that are your unavoidable lead in?  Take a page from the Applegate Almanac.

First, you adapt to the low-key, if deflated, atmosphere. Then you affirm your status as a Conan fan by asking him why he doesn’t do his “string dance” during the monologue anymore? Following through by engaging your host in a dance duet. Then you have some fun by getting in a crotch joke as you take a shot at your recent Self Magazine cover.

While Applegate has mastered the knack of being sexy and funny, what really serves her well as a guest is her ability to react. She fine tunes her expressions and responses so that they fit the less than perfect mood of the night, while still getting in her own gags and, most importantly, feeding her host with solid set-up lines.

Not every show permits the guest to hit the ball out of the park, but Applegate played to her natural charm, making the audience feel comfortable in what could have been an awkward interview. Typically we’d saddle Applegate with a less than perfect score, but for her careful read of the situation and adaptability to the tone of the show, we give her the maximum grade.

George Clooney exuded star quality the moment he walked onto the Late Show set, looking like he had just stepped out of Ocean’s 14.  And while being George Clooney is something none of us can ever hope to achieve, there’s a lot to be learned by observing his high-wire balancing act as a talk show guest, striking the perfect balance between being A-list and accessible.

Clooney has the self-deprecating act down to a science, blending the “I wish I was a star like him” and a viewer’s desire to see the all too human side of the high-and-mighty.  Watching George and Dave pal around and share celeb stories, we think “Oh, I want to belong to THAT club!”

Clooney knows the trick to spinning a great story is to have it so well rehearsed that it never seems rehearsed.  He made it look like he just remembered the hilarious incident that happened when police helicopters swarmed neighbor Britney Spears’ house.  And he got plenty of plugs in for his new movie, Leatherheads, by telling funny stories that generously showcased the other actors, at his own expense.  His guest stint was a textbook example of how to look ridiculously cool while telling stories about appearing ridiculous.  Not so easy when you come to think about it.

Clooney secured the Perfect Guest title by giving Dave what ever talk show host craves: a bankable celebrity who not only charms the audience, but hangs around to do a comedy skit as well.  Dave said it best, “If everyone were like George Clooney, show business would be a much better place.”

Don Rickles. What can you say? 60 years in show biz. 82 years old and still runs rings around stand-ups pumping Red Bulls at the Improv. Okay, maybe he moves a little slower, but with aim as deadly as his, who cares?

You’d think that sixty years later, with a million-gag repertoire in that huge hairless skull, Rickles would be coasting. But he worked this show! He insulted the band, the audience, Jimmy – anyone in range. And they loved it. Were some of the jokes creaky? You bet. But if you don’t like this one, there’ll be another along any second. Ba-rum-bum!!

Rickles’ political incorrectness is his stock in trade and still occasionally seems shocking in these sensitive times. Mr. Warmth, however, can get away with anything. When Jimmy noted that JK Live was approaching its 1000th episode, Rickles reflected on the show: “Once in a while when I take a shot at the wife, I use it for a nightlight.” There were other jokes The Guest Whisperer won’t even repeat!

Since Kimmel is in the middle of his concert stunt run, the audience is mostly young enough to get carded. However, when Rickles trotted out an old gag from the ‘60s – “Look at this kid – Halloween’s over!” – both the 19-year-old target and the rest of the audience were falling over. He did get sincere for a second, thanking Jimmy for hosting the Television Academy event featuring his new DVD (“Mr. Warmth – The Don Rickles Project”).

All in all when it comes to talk show appearances, the man is a class act in a class by himself.

Okay, all the tips and guidelines and inside secrets we’ve been espousing here at The Guest Whisperer – you can just throw them out. The rulebook for being a smash hit as a talk show guest has just been rewritten and it goes like this:

1. Be the hottest new three-brother boy band on the scene, or at least be at the top of Disney/ABC/Hollywood Records teen-celeb hit machine.

2. Pack the audience with tons of tween and teen fans jacked up on female hormones, thereby……sending your host’s youth demographic through the roof.

3. Be excruciatingly cute, yet apparently unaffected by fame.

4. Let that straightman host have some fun and be your guide through the screaming twists and turns of female fandom, because hey you have no fear of the competition on that stage – those adoring eyes, and pounding pulses are there to see YOU, right?

5. Secure that you’ve locked your target demo down tight, proceed to expand your crossover appeal with bite-sized multi-generational stories like your visit to the White House Easter Egg Hunt (“The President looked at my feet and said ‘I like them shoes, Joe – I gotta get me a pair.’”) and how Barry Gibb of the BeeGees is giving you career advice because his daughter is a gonzo fan.

6. Top it off by letting Jimmy play ringmaster to a wicked exclusive concert that has the audience screaming the audio meter off the hook and then throw in an encore that plays straight through the credits.

Come to think of it – these ARE the rules we’ve been touting: play to your strengths, connect with your host, keep your stories clever and funny and short, and let the audience feel they’re seeing something extra they wouldn’t get at your concert, in your movie, or on your TV show.

Now, if you could just get yourself a boy band, you’d be set!

Roseanne Barr has had her ups and downs. She’s been in and out, and rarely wanders far from controversy. Through it all, she has been a remarkably reliable talk show guest and interview subject, as demonstrated by her appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. While Roseanne plugged her ongoing show at the Sahara in Las Vegas, it’s impossible to confine her to a single subject – or even a mere half dozen. She took flight on parenting, joke writing, psychic abilities, politics and her unreasonable fear of Siegfried and Roy.

Simultaneously a celebrity and an ordinary Joe (or Jane), when she relates how she went gaga at seeing Wayne Newton’s mansion, she is the star-struck fan in us all. Yet with her explanation of why she loves Obama, but supports Hillary – “Ho’s before bro’s” is her philosophy – she is dancing on the edge of talk show boundaries.

She can talk about mundane things, that from other guests would have us fidgeting in our seats, because with Roseanne, we know something outrageous is just around the corner. You sense both 50-something housewives and college students respond when she said she gets revenge on her daughters by giving bad advice to her grandchildren. (“Go ahead, poop in your pants. You’re only five!”) She pulled the audience in by giving them sly looks that say “You know what I mean” – looks that slip right by Jimmy. Even so, both she and Jimmy were wonderfully generous in their set-ups for each other: equal opportunity quipsters. The final result was a show segment that was endlessly funny and consistently genuine. (Hey, does anyone else notice that if you close your eyes when Roseanne is talking, you could swear Barbara Walters is in the room?!

If ever you wanted a case study on how to be a good talk show guest, take a page out of the Meredith Vieira play book. This seasoned professional on the other side of the desk, knows what to give and how often to give it in an interview situation. Not everyone does as well when the tables are turned. Her fearless approach, combined with energy and charm came shining through in her recent appearance on Late Night with Conan O’Brien.

Nothing phased Vieira, not a recounting of Jane Fonda’s “c**t” utterance that slipped out during a live interview; or even the “audio-erotic” sounds Meredith appeared to be making during a Today Show stunt in England — even jokingly claiming “that’s not the way I sound (during sex).” She had all the right answers and held nothing back.

Perhaps getting up at 4:30 in the morning does have its upside if you’re a student in the art of the interview. NBC not only made the right choice in their replacement for Katie Couric to keep the show on top, as the ratings of the past 18 months has proven, they also picked a seasoned veteran who is a perfect emissary for adding to their success.