Jack Black knows how to make an entrance. Just watch him explode onto the David Letterman stage on his recent appearance – puffing his barrel-chest out, he worked the crowd, did a Kung Fu (Panda) inspired kick/turn and shed his black satin jacket, dropping it carelessly on the floor. He then proceeded to sit in the wrong chair…a nice, humorous cap to the wild antics. When Dave pointed out the mistake, Black shuffled like a reprimanded child, picking up his jacket (which, by the way, was now a gold satin jacket, having been turned inside out) and sitting in the proper spot. He went on to explain that his chest-puffing/gut-sucking-in was to test a new theory of his – that if you do something long enough, it will stay that way, like when you mother said “hey, don’t make that face all the time, it’s gonna stay like that.” When Dave asked how long he’d been trying it, Black said it was a brand new technique and then fondled his large pot belly until Dave asked him to stop “please quit playing with that!” Quite the opening salvo.
They went on to discuss his kids, his multi-colored hair (the result of a Ben Stiller film he just finished shooting) and a yak encounter he had, replete with photo.

I will say that I have never seen a talk show appearance where the object of the promotion (in this case Kung Fu Panda) was discussed as much as this. Dave kept going back to it and all aspects of it. They had clips of Black in the studio recording his voices, many of which he did live on the show, too. They even had a bit set up where he said a phrase live on the show and then had a clip of him saying the same phrase in the recording studio as if he had recorded it earlier. When they came back from the clip, he said “Yes! Nailed it.” Not sure it worked as well as they hoped, but they get an A for effort.

Jack Black is a force, full of unharnessed energy, crazy eyes, clever voices and delivery and sloppy, slangy speech, but he is prepared, funny, imminently watchable and, as Dave said in his introduction, “always entertaining.” That is true.

On a recent David Letterman show, Adam Sandler reaffirmed his ability to create memorable characters – not the guy sitting in the chair opposite Dave, but the guy in the clip from his new movie “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan.” The guy in the chair was kinda schlumpy – dressed in faded, loose-fitting jeans and a t-shirt, nervous – shaking his foot a-mile-a-minute, and rehearsed – telling preplanned jokes, several of which were scribbled on his left palm as a reminder “in case I don’t know what I’m doin’ here tonight…gotta get it in there, you know.”

Sandler does have an every guy quality and his self-effacing humor is funny – he talked about his need to be careful because his two-year-old daughter is now repeating anything she hears…” I’m the biggest star in the world,” “The critics just don’t get me.” Funny, but even Sandler knew his “routine” was obvious saying “that was terrible, stupid” after one particularly bad one-liner.

Sandler rarely made eye contact when he was telling a story, although mercifully did look at Dave when he was asking him a question.  It’s an odd brand of nervousness from a star who is at the top of his game, but appears look at public appearances like this one as a chore rather than an opportunity to connect with his audience.  Even Dave commented that he hadn’t been on the show for over a year and by the end of the interview we all knew why.

It’s hard to be humble and cocky at the same time, but Robert Downey, Jr. does it very well. Looking quite dapper in a dark suit and rose-colored tie on a recent Dave Letterman show. Downey was self-deprecating, with comments such as “you’ve come along way, baby” referring to his opening of The New York Stock Exchange that morning, modest, telling Dave that getting back to the U.S. and especially his show was the hit of his publicity trip…and meaning it, and arrogant, describing how he repeatedly balled up the script pages of his new movie, Iron Man, and threw them against the wall.

Now don’t get me wrong, he was charming, using a large and small action figure of himself from the film to illustrate the difference in height between him and co-star Gwyneth Paltrow. Funny stuff.

In the end, his matter-of-fact persona and dry sense of humor drew Dave and the audience in and made him a good guest who interacted well with the host and ultimately, made for a good interview… ego not withstanding.

If John McCain doesn’t make it to President, he may have a future in comedy. On a recent Letterman show, in the monologue, Dave served up several McCain jokes:
“John McCain looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys.”
“John McCain looks like the guy who’s always got wiry hair growing out of new places.”
You get the picture. Then, surprising the audience, out walks McCain, who proceeds to volley back several Letterman jokes:
“You look like the guy who smuggles reptiles in his pants.”
“You look like the guy whose neighbors later say ‘he mostly kept to himself.’” Etc.
Not only were his comedic timing and delivery spot on, but he did a great impression of Letterman, hands in pockets, to boot!. “Maybe a little too funny,” was Letterman’s comment.

When he made his official guest appearance on the show a few minutes later, he continued his comfortable, casual, comedic style. He used prepared jokes to deflect a few questions, something he’s clearly mastered after appearing on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart more than 20 times – he actually holds the record. He even admitted that “candidates are a little repetitious from time to time,” but he still delivered the humorous lines in a fresh, first-time-you’ve-heard-them manner. Even when the conversation turned serious, he remained confident and calm, thoughtfully offering his take on the future.

Whoever wins the election, it will be refreshing to know that he or she is in on the joke, not the butt of it. John McCain can laugh with the best of them.

Helen Mirren seemed almost as if she had never been on a talk show before when she joined David Letterman recently to promote her new book, In the Frame. She actually asked Dave which chair to sit in (he motioned to the one nearest him). She then shattered all illusions of the proper British lady when, upon sitting, she commented that this was the first time she had ever sat down in this dress and she admittedly was expecting to hear a big ripping sound from the ultra tight frock. Dave quickly parried with “that would be our good luck.”

They had a quite extensive discussion about her honorary title of Dame and everything that goes with it (literally and figuratively). The best part of this chat was Mirren describing going to Buckingham Palace with her husband in his ill-fitting morning suit and top hat in a filthy cab (most honorees take a private car) that smelled like a pub and cigarettes.

Dave then held up her book and several photos from the book. The book is more photos than text because Mirren always goes to the photos first when SHE reads a book. Of course there were the requisite risqué pix, which tickled Dave and Mirren seemed to relish.

While there was nothing exceptional about her visit, Mirren was lovely and jaunty, and tight dress notwithstanding, still a charming interview.

George Clooney exuded star quality the moment he walked onto the Late Show set, looking like he had just stepped out of Ocean’s 14.  And while being George Clooney is something none of us can ever hope to achieve, there’s a lot to be learned by observing his high-wire balancing act as a talk show guest, striking the perfect balance between being A-list and accessible.

Clooney has the self-deprecating act down to a science, blending the “I wish I was a star like him” and a viewer’s desire to see the all too human side of the high-and-mighty.  Watching George and Dave pal around and share celeb stories, we think “Oh, I want to belong to THAT club!”

Clooney knows the trick to spinning a great story is to have it so well rehearsed that it never seems rehearsed.  He made it look like he just remembered the hilarious incident that happened when police helicopters swarmed neighbor Britney Spears’ house.  And he got plenty of plugs in for his new movie, Leatherheads, by telling funny stories that generously showcased the other actors, at his own expense.  His guest stint was a textbook example of how to look ridiculously cool while telling stories about appearing ridiculous.  Not so easy when you come to think about it.

Clooney secured the Perfect Guest title by giving Dave what ever talk show host craves: a bankable celebrity who not only charms the audience, but hangs around to do a comedy skit as well.  Dave said it best, “If everyone were like George Clooney, show business would be a much better place.”

When Demi Moore strode onto the Letterman stage in a very flattering bright red dress, she was every bit the consummate actress and star (even perfectly raising her foot when Letterman hugged her). Through the course of the interview, she was flirty and fun and filled with just the right kind of racy stories for late night TV. And other than her annoying nervous habit of keeping her hands clasped together almost the entire time, which transmitted a palpable tension, she was a great interview for a fawning Dave.

Letterman showed pictures of her with her three daughters in Bazaar magazine and when he asked how she keeps them on the straight and narrow, she said “I beat them with a belt…” PAUSE…then she cracked up laughing.

She then spent a good deal of time discussing her recent trip to Austria for leech therapy, “but with highly trained medical leeches!” She got very graphic when describing the first leech crawling in her bellybutton and biting down. “You bastard!” she said. She also informed everyone that the leeches don’t like hair, so a “proper Brazilian” was necessary. Dave and the audience broke up. She mentioned that she even brought photos, which were deemed too explicit for even late night, much to Dave and Paul’s disappointment.

Moore then talked about her new film with Michael Caine, Flawless and discussed their first film together, Blame It On Rio, some twenty years ago. Moore confessed that she was certain such a comedy could never be made today as Caine, her father in the film, has an affair with her 17-year old best friend.

Moore handled herself with poise and playful charm…now if she could just pry open those hands and let us all relax she’ll get a 5 Whisper score next time.

Sometimes talk show appearances are bad on-camera lab experiments.  All the elements are in place, but the chemistry fails.  The charming and unaffected Kate Bosworth popped in on Letterman to plug her new flick 21, but somehow the vast bulk of her segment centered around another movie altogether.  (A publicist’s worst nightmare.)  She and Dave swapped gags about skydiving, followed by a clip of her first parachute venture, while in New Zealand, where she just shot The Laundry Warrior by a Korean director.  She then wandered through a story about wandering through NZ with her boyfriend.  The movie she was on the show to promote barely got a mention before she vanished into the commercial break.

How much of this lay on Kate’s shoulder is hard to tell.  She showed up lovely and lively, looking trimly gorgeous (fortunately still above her alarming waif weight of 2006.)  She made all the right moves, having fun with both Dave and Paul Shaffer and relating to both like old pals.  Yet the whole act felt stage managed, undercutting her natural appeal.  Even Dave seemed working from a shoehorned script, as though Kate’s handlers and the show’s producers had concluded the Las Vegas-based movie 21 couldn’t carry the segment.  She wove a brief story about being stranded in Vegas for six weeks, while co-star Kevin Spacey had fun across the state.  Surely after working with Spacey in three movies, there were more stories connected to the movie she was there to support.  But perhaps none she could tell.

It was far from terrible, yet less than anticipated.  We had terrific professionals out front, which is why The Guest Whisperer suspects the fumbles came from backstage.