I’m not really sure what to say about Daniel Craig’s recent visit to Jay Leno’s show. There to promote the new 007 film Quantum Of Solace, Craig was understated, subtle and Bond-like. He was also the antithesis of Bond in his vulnerability, both physical and emotional.  There is a shyness to Craig that probably works better as a vehicle for his charm with women rather than men.

Arriving with his arm in a sling – and not offering much explanation of why other than the six or seven (ask his doctor!) screws in the shoulder – Craig went on to discuss several other injuries he’s suffered of late. Very un-Bond-like.
Craig also talked about his life as an actor and, like almost every other actor out there, his dislike of the audition process, funny story included. Further confirming his less-than-suave real life, Craig talked about getting the phone call that he was the new Bond while shopping, alone, at a Baltimore Whole Foods Market. He immediately went to the liquor department, bought a bottle of vodka and drank it. Not shaken or stirred.

Craig did spend time explaining the title of the new film.  A smart move considering most have been bewildered since first hearing the title.  The whole appearance was a bit like the chicken or the egg dilemma – did Craig get the part because he is the strong, silent type or is he now the strong, silent type because he got the part…and is now doing promotion? Hard to know. But whichever it is, he has proven good for the franchise, reinvigorating and even reinventing the character as a more serious, contemplative James Bond. I believe Ian Fleming would be happy.

As for Craig’s talk show persona, his light humor and stoicism combined well to offer a Bond-like, if not electric appearance. Craig’s power is clearly better demonstrated on the screen not on the couch.

If you didn’t know Mark Wahlberg and saw him for the first time on Jay Leno’s show, you would think he was a nice, respectable young actor. You would have no idea of his history. A history even he joked about. Wahlberg spent much of the interview talking about his childhood, being the youngest of nine kids. He also joked with Jay about having just had his third child, his upcoming wedding and trying to sell his house…to Jay, “come on, Jay, help out a fellow Bostonian!” (He did his homework! Good move.)

Walberg’s low-key persona is quite the opposite of that previously mentioned wild history that inspired the series Entourage, which he produces.  It’s a history which is best described in his own words – when Jay asked about how he would deal with his kids finding out about it – he said “I’m trying to figure out how I can destroy evidence or come up with…I have a few years to figure out a good excuse, but I [will] have a lot of explaining to do. Between my music career, the underwear stuff and Boogie Nights, I don’t know how I’m gonna explain that!”

Wahlberg did talk about his new film Max Payne and did a good job explaining its origins as a video game.  Once again, playing against character, he said he chose the role because after playing a science teacher and an accountant in his last films, he felt the need to “bust some heads.”

From rapper to sex symbol to edgy actor to smooth talk show guest, the adage “you can’t judge a book by its cover” really applies here. Can’t wait to see what’s next.

I really wanted to like Molly Shannon on Jay Leno’s show, but she made it so difficult because, frankly, I was so exhausted after watching her. When she walked out, she brought chips and salsa to a couple at a mock Mexican restaurant table set up on stage – a bit Jay and Co. were doing. She was a good sport to participate and seemed genuinely excited to be there, waving at the crowd and grinning that huge grin. The trouble began when she sat down. From continually fixing and touching her hair, to either genuinely or playfully losing concentration, to telling uncomfortably awkward stories about her family and upbringing — Shannon was all over the place. She sensed it herself I think, when she started to drink from Jay’s cup – he stopped her – and she tried to cover, joking with “I’m a real classy guest.”

They did talk about her new show Kath and Kim and showed a clip, but by that time I was so beaten up by all of the frenetic energy, that I could hardly concentrate.  Now, I’m pretty sure on some level this is all about nerves, but it just shouldn’t happen. Shannon needs someone to sit her down in a quiet place and teach her to channel her energy and focus on her direction and intent.

I think we’ve discovered why she is so talented and adept with characters. Now if she could only “play” a calm, centered talk show guest, she’d have it made. Perhaps she could add that to her repertoire.

I’m not sure if I was disappointed with Michael Phelps recent appearance on Jay Leno because I don’t think I expected much to begin with. I was certainly disappointed with his choice of wardrobe - what seemed to be a sweatsuit and sandals - and his lack of decorum in pulling his leg up on the chair. There seemed to be no respect for the level of talk show he was on. Even a novice interviewee (which he isn’t thanks to those eight golds) should know better…or at least “his people” should… or his mother, who I’m sure with her newfound star status, isn’t wearing the same clothes SHE wore in Beijing. Now, I know he hasn’t been home since June 25, but this was The Tonight Show afterall, and he did just get that million-dollar bonus. He could have done some shopping!

Throughout his appearance Phelps was low-key, straight-forward and humble, which brings me back to that million bucks - he has donated it to the Michael Phelps Foundation, which he started to “promote the sport of swimming and take it to a new level and promote a healthy and good lifestyle.” So we’ll take back the shot about having enough money to buy some better threads, but he does need help in that department.  Even his hosting gig on SNL proved that he is slightly wardrobe challenged.

All that being said when Jay asked about the future of his Olympic records being broken, he graciously said “records are made to be broken, I hope so.”  A classy perspective from one of the world’s greatest athletes.  Next time, just kick it up a notch.

It’s not often that we would review the talk show appearance of  a star so recently.  But in the case of Brendan Fraser, he has spent the Summer of ‘08 is the desirable position of having to promote two potential blockbusters released within 30 days of each other.  As I was admittedly critical of his early Summer appearances, I thought it fair to give him another look.  Unfortunately, things haven’t gotten much better.

While he was hawking Journey to the Center of the Earth, I mentioned that Fraser may have taken his movie promotion role a little too seriously, foregoing the fun his personality usually promises.  On his recent outing on The Tonight Show for Mummy 3, he seemed to be over-correcting and trying too hard.  His appearance felt engineered and too rehearsed, with lots of props and plenty of energy, but little genuine connection between him and Jay and even less with the audience.

Things did not get off to a promising start.  There’s an old adage in show business: never work with animals or small children.  Now, if you’d think if anyone could handle this situation, you’d think it would be Brendan Fraser with his vast experience of working with animate and inanimate objects.  Yet he apparently met his match as his appearance was preceded by a contingent of animals that included a woodpecker, jungle cat, raccoons and a massive anteater, and every one of them seemed more at ease in the Guest Seat than Fraser did.

He started out promisingly, trotting through the curtains and acknowledging the band, the audience and even a hey-howdy gesture right into the camera.  But even when he launched into his own animal-related escapades, he seemed curiously forced, with a hint of flop sweat.

What would have helped?  Maybe a touch of the dry humor he exhibited in the first Mummy movie, the kind of wry self-composure that serves the likes of George Clooney and Gillian Anderson so well when they hit the talk show circuit.  Even the action clip from The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor felt full of frenzy rather than fun.  Fraser introduced it with “As you know, I work with animals frequently…”  Maybe they should have kept the anteater on past the commercial!

When Seth Rogen edged out onto The Tonight Show set, he looked less than a sure thing.  Sure, he had a nice suit, fashionably loose tie, and a fashionable-three-years-ago five-day beard.  But he looked painfully uncomfortable, rarely making eye contact and sitting tensely.  What a wonderful surprise to see him turn in a textbook performance as a great guest.

He first blew our expectations out of the water when Jay displayed a cover of GQ with Rogen front and center.  Pointing out his modified-fro curls, Jay asked, “Is that your hair?”  “Yes,” Rogen replied. “And if you’re wondering, the carpet matches the drapes.”  The audience fell apart!  Rogen milked his doofus persona and kept Jay in stitches throughout his segment.   He had done his homework: bringing out a picture of Jay in jeans and denim shirt (his favorite outfit), Rogen referenced his Northern roots by noting “We call this a Canadian tuxedo.”

The comedy centered on Rogen’s underachiever past, showing a clip from Dawson’s Creek that revealed the stoner character he plays in Pineapple Express (which he was promoting) has deep roots.  Jay even bounced jokes off of Rogen’s parents – in the audience – throughout the segment.

So why did Rogen succeed when he broke so many standard guest appearance rules?  He stuck close to the most important rule: reveal something about your true self that the audience and the host can relate to.  Play to your entertainment strength.  And he did this masterfully.

This will probably be one of the shortest reviews ever for The Guest Whisperer.

Will Smith is a perfect guest! He’s fun, funny, personable, full of energy and just plain great. He listens, interacts, dresses appropriately, brings visuals, is deferential to the host, has great timing, great stories and makes them interesting.

Want to hear about him golfing with Tiger Woods? Tiger’s comment about Smith’s severely curving shot, “whoa, let’s get a skirt for that hooker!” Or maybe you want to hear about his daughter’s new pet frog, which turned out to be a 3-foot boa constrictor which will eventually turn into a 12 foot boa constrictor, “Jay, I’m on your show tonight as cry for help.” Or his prowess in the bedroom — he calls it Willagra.

There to promote his new film Hancock, about an alcoholic superhero, Smith talked about donning a harness for stunt flying in the film 70 feet in the air at 60 mph for two city blocks. “ You can be sure I’m not doin’ that again, Jay.”

He is a publicist or film marketing chief’s dream – coming off as a great guy doing a great interview. Watch it and you’ll feel like you’ve had a shot of adrenaline. That’s all there is to say.

When something looks too good to be true… sometimes it just might be. Such is the case with Cindy McCain. She made a visit to Jay Leno’s show recently and appeared nearly perfect – pretty, well-put-together, forthright, humorous, a little overly controlled… and even willing and able to make fun of her Presidential candidate husband, John McCain, saying “he’s not a very good driver” and admitting that he lied about his age when he met her (he subtracted five years). Guess what? So did she (she added five). They didn’t find out until they applied for the marriage license.

McCain talked about her medical problems (prescription drug addiction, a stroke), being a pilot (she flew hubby in his first bid for the Senate) and a race car driver (drift cars with her son) and teaching special education. I bet she’s a gourmet chef, too.

She did achieve what, I think, she set out to – conveying how fit and young her husband really is — he’s going to hike the Grand Canyon again this summer, without her.

Interestingly, Leno was compelled to behave. He had a few mild zingers but, perhaps because she could be the next First Lady, he treated her with respect. And, in all fairness, she was, as Jay said, a “great guest.” Only time will tell if she’s the real thing.

David Spade’s smarmy smugness just doesn’t work anymore; probably because as he is forced to admit, he is older now and therefore mellower, not a trait that helps edgy-esque comedy. One of the first sentences out of his mouth on his recent Tonight Show appearance was an apology for having to sit weirdly because of a bad neck. Good start when you are looking for sympathy from the audience, but not that usual cocky “I’m just f**king with you” Spade style.

He then proceeded to work his prepared material from beginning to end with cued help from Leno, who seemed only to be there only for the purpose of feeding Spade lines. Jay dutifully led Spade into his “bits” on family, dating and liposuction. At one point, Spade seemed to forget his own material and, looking lost, had to vamp until he got back on track. Focus, buddy.

The only real mention of his current series Rules of Engagement and the reason for his booking in the first place, was in reference to his having to attend the Superbowl at the Network’s request. He then went into “bits” on massage, Peyton Manning, and strip clubs. You never felt like he was actually having a conversation or being interviewed, instead you felt used and manipulated. You know it’s bad when you feel as sorry for Jay Leno as you do for yourself. ‘Nuff said.

If you didn’t know much about David Beckham other than his soccer prowess, half-naked billboards and marriage to Posh Spice Girl Victoria, you might have been surprised to see and hear him on The Tonight Show recently. A very polite, slightly nervous English chap, who dressed up for the show (is that just a British thing?) in a suit and tie, chatted with Jay like they were mates – well almost, they are actually neighbors. And in connection with that, Beckham took the opportunity to apologize for all the paparazzi.

The surprise about the usually silent superstar is that, while he looks like he might be upper crust, he is actually a working class bloke. His accent bespeaks his upbringing with a gas-fitter dad and a hairdresser mum. He was really quite humble and proud when he said he is living his father’s dream. (His dad was a huge soccer fan and his parents completely supported him throughout his career.)

On to the interview.

What is it with Jay that he has to continually pull out the juvenile pranks to try to embarrass guests with ambush photos, video and “grade school” level questions? Didn’t he learn anything from his recent “tail between his legs” apology to Ryan Philippe for going down a ridiculous gay round of queries?

When Jay showed the aforementioned half-naked billboard, Beckham was genuinely uncomfortable. He said he was “so nervous” doing the shoot because he had never posed in his underwear and he knew his wife, friends and mother would see it. While being nervous and shy can be the kiss-of-death for a talk show guest, Beckham made it work by coming off real and charming.

Eventually they got to the reason for his visit, his 100th game for England (the National Team), an achievement only reached by four other players in history, and not for 20 years. Oh yes, he did mentioned that the Galaxy’s season was about to begin – good thing as we seem to recall they paid him a pretty penny to turn around the fortunes of the LA franchise.

The best part of the interview, however, was not part of his interview at all. It was actually when the next guest, Sherri Shepherd, came out and continually flirted her butt off, saying “he’s fine!” over and over again. She admitted that she even had cut out a picture from a magazine of Beckham and his wife in bed, and put her face over Victoria’s…and it was “HOT!” The entire time, Beckham’s reactions were priceless. Reverting to his silent nature, he never uttered a word, just grinned appropriately and laughed like he loved every minute of it. And we believe he was, which made the audience love it even more. Sometimes, silence is golden.