It’s not often that we would review the talk show appearance of  a star so recently.  But in the case of Brendan Fraser, he has spent the Summer of ‘08 is the desirable position of having to promote two potential blockbusters released within 30 days of each other.  As I was admittedly critical of his early Summer appearances, I thought it fair to give him another look.  Unfortunately, things haven’t gotten much better.

While he was hawking Journey to the Center of the Earth, I mentioned that Fraser may have taken his movie promotion role a little too seriously, foregoing the fun his personality usually promises.  On his recent outing on The Tonight Show for Mummy 3, he seemed to be over-correcting and trying too hard.  His appearance felt engineered and too rehearsed, with lots of props and plenty of energy, but little genuine connection between him and Jay and even less with the audience.

Things did not get off to a promising start.  There’s an old adage in show business: never work with animals or small children.  Now, if you’d think if anyone could handle this situation, you’d think it would be Brendan Fraser with his vast experience of working with animate and inanimate objects.  Yet he apparently met his match as his appearance was preceded by a contingent of animals that included a woodpecker, jungle cat, raccoons and a massive anteater, and every one of them seemed more at ease in the Guest Seat than Fraser did.

He started out promisingly, trotting through the curtains and acknowledging the band, the audience and even a hey-howdy gesture right into the camera.  But even when he launched into his own animal-related escapades, he seemed curiously forced, with a hint of flop sweat.

What would have helped?  Maybe a touch of the dry humor he exhibited in the first Mummy movie, the kind of wry self-composure that serves the likes of George Clooney and Gillian Anderson so well when they hit the talk show circuit.  Even the action clip from The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor felt full of frenzy rather than fun.  Fraser introduced it with “As you know, I work with animals frequently…”  Maybe they should have kept the anteater on past the commercial!

Watching Marisa Tomei on Conan O’Brien’s show was like being at Kitty Hawk with the Wright Brothers – you thought something good was going to happen, but it never really got off the ground. Not only did she dress in a nondescript frock, but the tone of the whole interview was, dare I say it, boring.

There to promote her new movie War Inc., Tomei actually spent more time talking about the film she’s making now with Micky Rourke, The Wrestler, in which she plays a stripper. Now, you would think, and hope, that would lead to some fun, provocative conversation… not so much. She did manage to laugh and giggle a lot (which is often all one can do when dealing with Conan O’Brien), but not much else. She didn’t even know what clip to set up.

It’s a shame, really, because you get the sense she has so much more to offer. Oh yes, she also plugged the play she’s currently doing on Broadway, Top Girls. Come to think of it, maybe she was just tired.

From her sly humor on Comedy Central Celebrity Roasts to her humbling takes on her own image, Pamela Anderson’s wit and intelligence are reason enough to anticipate her popping up on any talk show. So this makes it all the more surprising that she fell flat on a recent Ellen DeGeneres appearance. I’m sure as you read this, you’re coming up with better repartee than Pam managed. (“Pam Anderson falling flat? Doesn’t that violate the laws of physics?!”) In her defense, she was tired and mildly injured from a tour with magician Hans Klok, but the conversation between her and Ellen was just sporadically entertaining — mostly when Ellen herself was doing the flirting and fawning — and often confusing.

While it was intriguing to hear about Pam’s normal life as a mother (and school traffic monitor!), her low energy and bland presentation made the insights a snooze. And Ellen chatting with her like an old friend was little help, since inside talk without careful clues leaves the viewer out in the cold. To her credit, Pam got in a good line when pitching her new film “Superhero Movie” (“I loved being invisible. My wig did most of the work.”) Yet the majority of even good lines were thrown away or stepped on.

It didn’t help that Pam was positioned between Matt Grant, an engaging Brit who is the current star of The Bachelor, and Margaret Cho, both of whom demonstrated charm and perfect timing. Her 2 Whisper rating highlights some cardinal rules for talk show appearances: get plenty of rest and have your people communicate the essential ammunition the show’s producers need to make you look good, you can’t leave a great appearance to chance!