It’s not often that we would review the talk show appearance of  a star so recently.  But in the case of Brendan Fraser, he has spent the Summer of ‘08 is the desirable position of having to promote two potential blockbusters released within 30 days of each other.  As I was admittedly critical of his early Summer appearances, I thought it fair to give him another look.  Unfortunately, things haven’t gotten much better.

While he was hawking Journey to the Center of the Earth, I mentioned that Fraser may have taken his movie promotion role a little too seriously, foregoing the fun his personality usually promises.  On his recent outing on The Tonight Show for Mummy 3, he seemed to be over-correcting and trying too hard.  His appearance felt engineered and too rehearsed, with lots of props and plenty of energy, but little genuine connection between him and Jay and even less with the audience.

Things did not get off to a promising start.  There’s an old adage in show business: never work with animals or small children.  Now, if you’d think if anyone could handle this situation, you’d think it would be Brendan Fraser with his vast experience of working with animate and inanimate objects.  Yet he apparently met his match as his appearance was preceded by a contingent of animals that included a woodpecker, jungle cat, raccoons and a massive anteater, and every one of them seemed more at ease in the Guest Seat than Fraser did.

He started out promisingly, trotting through the curtains and acknowledging the band, the audience and even a hey-howdy gesture right into the camera.  But even when he launched into his own animal-related escapades, he seemed curiously forced, with a hint of flop sweat.

What would have helped?  Maybe a touch of the dry humor he exhibited in the first Mummy movie, the kind of wry self-composure that serves the likes of George Clooney and Gillian Anderson so well when they hit the talk show circuit.  Even the action clip from The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor felt full of frenzy rather than fun.  Fraser introduced it with “As you know, I work with animals frequently…”  Maybe they should have kept the anteater on past the commercial!

When Seth Rogen edged out onto The Tonight Show set, he looked less than a sure thing.  Sure, he had a nice suit, fashionably loose tie, and a fashionable-three-years-ago five-day beard.  But he looked painfully uncomfortable, rarely making eye contact and sitting tensely.  What a wonderful surprise to see him turn in a textbook performance as a great guest.

He first blew our expectations out of the water when Jay displayed a cover of GQ with Rogen front and center.  Pointing out his modified-fro curls, Jay asked, “Is that your hair?”  “Yes,” Rogen replied. “And if you’re wondering, the carpet matches the drapes.”  The audience fell apart!  Rogen milked his doofus persona and kept Jay in stitches throughout his segment.   He had done his homework: bringing out a picture of Jay in jeans and denim shirt (his favorite outfit), Rogen referenced his Northern roots by noting “We call this a Canadian tuxedo.”

The comedy centered on Rogen’s underachiever past, showing a clip from Dawson’s Creek that revealed the stoner character he plays in Pineapple Express (which he was promoting) has deep roots.  Jay even bounced jokes off of Rogen’s parents – in the audience – throughout the segment.

So why did Rogen succeed when he broke so many standard guest appearance rules?  He stuck close to the most important rule: reveal something about your true self that the audience and the host can relate to.  Play to your entertainment strength.  And he did this masterfully.

If you didn’t know much about David Beckham other than his soccer prowess, half-naked billboards and marriage to Posh Spice Girl Victoria, you might have been surprised to see and hear him on The Tonight Show recently. A very polite, slightly nervous English chap, who dressed up for the show (is that just a British thing?) in a suit and tie, chatted with Jay like they were mates – well almost, they are actually neighbors. And in connection with that, Beckham took the opportunity to apologize for all the paparazzi.

The surprise about the usually silent superstar is that, while he looks like he might be upper crust, he is actually a working class bloke. His accent bespeaks his upbringing with a gas-fitter dad and a hairdresser mum. He was really quite humble and proud when he said he is living his father’s dream. (His dad was a huge soccer fan and his parents completely supported him throughout his career.)

On to the interview.

What is it with Jay that he has to continually pull out the juvenile pranks to try to embarrass guests with ambush photos, video and “grade school” level questions? Didn’t he learn anything from his recent “tail between his legs” apology to Ryan Philippe for going down a ridiculous gay round of queries?

When Jay showed the aforementioned half-naked billboard, Beckham was genuinely uncomfortable. He said he was “so nervous” doing the shoot because he had never posed in his underwear and he knew his wife, friends and mother would see it. While being nervous and shy can be the kiss-of-death for a talk show guest, Beckham made it work by coming off real and charming.

Eventually they got to the reason for his visit, his 100th game for England (the National Team), an achievement only reached by four other players in history, and not for 20 years. Oh yes, he did mentioned that the Galaxy’s season was about to begin – good thing as we seem to recall they paid him a pretty penny to turn around the fortunes of the LA franchise.

The best part of the interview, however, was not part of his interview at all. It was actually when the next guest, Sherri Shepherd, came out and continually flirted her butt off, saying “he’s fine!” over and over again. She admitted that she even had cut out a picture from a magazine of Beckham and his wife in bed, and put her face over Victoria’s…and it was “HOT!” The entire time, Beckham’s reactions were priceless. Reverting to his silent nature, he never uttered a word, just grinned appropriately and laughed like he loved every minute of it. And we believe he was, which made the audience love it even more. Sometimes, silence is golden.

Today’s challenge: you’re a successful comic actress in your mid-30s. Your show, which was the highest-rated new sitcom last fall, disappeared like many series under the weight of the writers’ strike, and is about to return. So what do you do? If you’re Christina Applegate star of Samantha Who?, you pop up on Late Night to remind viewers that you’re still here. But what does a guest do when the host is having an off night, with a weak monologue and a luke warm comedy sketch that are your unavoidable lead in?  Take a page from the Applegate Almanac.

First, you adapt to the low-key, if deflated, atmosphere. Then you affirm your status as a Conan fan by asking him why he doesn’t do his “string dance” during the monologue anymore? Following through by engaging your host in a dance duet. Then you have some fun by getting in a crotch joke as you take a shot at your recent Self Magazine cover.

While Applegate has mastered the knack of being sexy and funny, what really serves her well as a guest is her ability to react. She fine tunes her expressions and responses so that they fit the less than perfect mood of the night, while still getting in her own gags and, most importantly, feeding her host with solid set-up lines.

Not every show permits the guest to hit the ball out of the park, but Applegate played to her natural charm, making the audience feel comfortable in what could have been an awkward interview. Typically we’d saddle Applegate with a less than perfect score, but for her careful read of the situation and adaptability to the tone of the show, we give her the maximum grade.

If anyone should be naturally equipped to make a great showing on a talk show, it’s a career politician several months into a national campaign. They’re rehearsed and experienced, with a ton of anecdotes at their fingertips, plus ample prepping by a squad of professionals behind the scenes. We expect them to be relaxed, witty, informed and on their game

Senator Hillary Clinton fulfilled all expectations when she swept onto The Tonight Show in her customary pantsuit, topped in bright red to up the energy quotient. She pre-empted any questions on her recent “misspeaking” about her experiences in a Bosnian landing zone and confessed, “Obviously, I had a lapse.”

When Hillary and Jay went after the serious subjects, she delivered her opinions with a humorous slant, proclaiming, “It’s the economy, stupid – and unfortunately it’s a stupid economy.” When Leno brought up Chelsea, noting, “She said you would make a better president than her dad,” Hillary had a perfect comeback, “Oh, she’s such a smart young woman.”

Her natural gesturing kept the visual energy high and she made an excellent connection with her host. Her body language was solid, as she leaned in toward Leno and patted his desk to make her points. But she barely misses a 5 Whisper rating because she failed to maintain eye contact consistently. This appearance was marred by an annoying habit of looking at the floor for long stretches, making it impossible for the camera to find her and keeping the viewer from making a connection. If she could direct some of that eye line to the crowd, she would have aced our scoreboard.

From her sly humor on Comedy Central Celebrity Roasts to her humbling takes on her own image, Pamela Anderson’s wit and intelligence are reason enough to anticipate her popping up on any talk show. So this makes it all the more surprising that she fell flat on a recent Ellen DeGeneres appearance. I’m sure as you read this, you’re coming up with better repartee than Pam managed. (“Pam Anderson falling flat? Doesn’t that violate the laws of physics?!”) In her defense, she was tired and mildly injured from a tour with magician Hans Klok, but the conversation between her and Ellen was just sporadically entertaining — mostly when Ellen herself was doing the flirting and fawning — and often confusing.

While it was intriguing to hear about Pam’s normal life as a mother (and school traffic monitor!), her low energy and bland presentation made the insights a snooze. And Ellen chatting with her like an old friend was little help, since inside talk without careful clues leaves the viewer out in the cold. To her credit, Pam got in a good line when pitching her new film “Superhero Movie” (“I loved being invisible. My wig did most of the work.”) Yet the majority of even good lines were thrown away or stepped on.

It didn’t help that Pam was positioned between Matt Grant, an engaging Brit who is the current star of The Bachelor, and Margaret Cho, both of whom demonstrated charm and perfect timing. Her 2 Whisper rating highlights some cardinal rules for talk show appearances: get plenty of rest and have your people communicate the essential ammunition the show’s producers need to make you look good, you can’t leave a great appearance to chance!