Hayden Panettiere is the thinking man’s Paris Hilton…although Paris’ ensemble would have had more flair and color than Panettiere’s conservative, drab cowl neck sweater and tight-bunned hairstyle.

Panettiere’s first few minutes with Dave, smacked of Paris’ vapid, giggly persona, but then they started to get serious (deadly with Dave if you’re a hot young woman) and began talking about her summer trying to save whales in Japan.  They talked and talked and talked.  Not that her intentions weren’t good, but the stories about almost being hit by long poles and her vivid explanation of the bloody harpooning not to mention her feeling of imminent arrest, just didn’t play on Dave’s stage. Panettiere almost missed her objective of promoting the return of her series, Heroes, until Dave saved the day with a last minute exit plug.

Yes Hayden, we understand you aren’t just a kick ass cheerleader, you are a real, caring and intelligent person! Blah, Blah, Blah – next time save it for you Barbara Walters pre-Oscar special.  On second thought, have you considered blogging?

Kobe Bryant has been through a journey in his life - from amazing, humble, kid basketball player who got drafted by the Lakers to cocky self-absorbed pro with a certain degree of um…legal entanglements, and finally it seems, back to semi-humble, adult basketball player who’s appeared to learn some life lessons.

Such was the image he portrayed when he paid Jimmy Kimmel a visit recently. With a gold medal in his pocket, (probably the ultimate bling) Kobe looked quite dapper in his dark suit with pink tie and hankie. When the audience wouldn’t stop chanting MVP, Kimmel asked if Kobe gets tired of hearing that…Kobe said “no!” with a big smile.

Bryant was really the perfect mix of playful, sincere and serious. He spoke of Olympic basketball and how the world has embraced it, as well as his surprise at his popularity over in China (he couldn’t get off a plane because it had been swarmed by fans and his jersey is the nation’s number one seller).

Bryant did speak about working with Britany Spears on the MTV awards saying “that stuff makes me nervous.” They discussed his turning thirty in Beijing, his family, and his choice not to have surgery on his finger (too much recovery time away from the Lakers).

All of this was said with the right degree of humbleness and truth. He listened well, reacted even better and allowed us to want to like him, which we did. He even ended the interview telling Kimmel he had a bone to pick with him. He went on to complain about not being invited to Kimmel’s house for the Sunday NFL viewing party, saying “[sure, when the] camera comes on and he’s my buddy-buddy, and then he doesn’t invite me. I just want to know what’s going on!”

This appearance certainly marks an up swing in the control of Bryant’s public image and caps off an amazing season of talent on the court.

I wonder if Kiefer Sutherland does some sort of Zen meditation before coming out for a talk-show appearance. It seemed that way on his recent visit to The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson to promote his new film, Mirrors. Sutherland is so unnervingly calm at times that it almost borders on boring. Any regular viewer of Ferguson’s high-energy antics would realize that this contradiction of styles could spell disaster for anyone’s appearance.

What happened was an interesting relationship with host Ferguson resulting in several mildly entertaining exchanges. When Sutherland mentioned he has shot the two-hour 24 prequel movie in Africa. Ferguson asked “Africa or South Africa?” Sutherland replied, “Is there a difference?” Ferguson jousted back with “[well,] one part is in the middle and one part is in the South…and then there’s that part around the top…what’s that called?…North Africa!” (So much for the awkward geography lesson.)

And later, in a discussion about hippos in Africa, Ferguson trapped him once more warning that hippos have very strong “unions” and Sutherland should be careful. Caught off guard again, Sutherland finally got the joke and then admitted to the audience that “My whole evening now is just about trying to derail him…and it’s impossible to do.”

Believe it or not, they did finally get to the movie…but only after Ferguson had said they were done with his patented bantering. I think even he realized he hadn’t done his job very well either and needed to talk a little (very little) about the film. Literally less than a minute.

So, to wrap up, Kiefer Sutherland’s appearance was nice. Nice is not great. Great is what you want. I’m not saying you need to jump up and down and be crazy, but you do want to have a certain level of energy and excitement that is going to play well with a high energy host.  Sutherland knows better, but sometimes he just doesn’t seem to care.
Good thing he has that hit TV show, at least for now!

Ben Stiller is the perfect mix of quick-witted dry humor and goof ball nervousness, as evidenced by his recent entrance on The Daily Show. When Stiller attempted to sit down and pull his chair closer to the desk, he couldn’t.  He was subtly caught in a personal awkward moment, which caused him, finally, to just lean in to address Stewart’s first comments. It was affective, funny and almost seemed like a bit from a Ben Stiller movie.

As far as the verbal part of the interview went, it was clever and cozy. Cozy because here were two dads talking about their kids’ total lack of interest in their work. Stories were flying back and forth and male bonding was at its zenith. They concluded the lamenting with the following exchange:
Stiller: “They’re difficult. Children are difficult.”
Stewart: “I tell ya they’re too much. I want them out”
Funny stuff.

There was much discussion about Stiller’s new film Tropic Thunder, including Stewart asking how Stiller was to work with, as he was both director and star.  Stiller replied “I find myself uncommunicative and distant.”

Interestingly, the way the show is shot there is not a lot of opportunity for much visual intimacy as there is in most TV interviews.  The dominant camera two-shot, doesn’t offer the immediate reactions that viewers are used to seeing.  But, with that in mind, and Stewart’s ever-present own agenda to deal with, I must say Stiller did a very good job at keeping the interview personal and lively. He piqued viewer’s interest in his film, got laughs from the host and stayed humble to boot. Well done.

David Duchovny is a low-key, guy’s guy, charming from the word go. Dressed in jeans, shirt out and jacket, he even pulled his pants up before sitting down, just like a real guy.  It’s that brand of relate-ability that made him a winning guest during a recent visit with Jimmy Kimmel.  And as we are often say, relate-ability equals like-ability.

He started out his visit by saying he almost went through the wrong door backstage and wondered where he would have ended up.  When Kimmel suggested the Ellen Show, Duchovny quickly replied that he might, then, have been “a little less flirty.”  Duchovny felt right at home with Kimmel and readily offered up that one of his summer activities, in addition to finishing up the second season of his Showtime series Californication, was pimping “The X-Files – I Want to Believe.”

As the “pimping” part of the interview came around, Duchovny said that getting back into the role of Fox Mulder after six years only happened when he started working with Gillian Anderson again.  “[She] keyed me into the whole vibe.”  Kimmel then asked if he stripped everyone down as he seems to do on Californication on the X files set, and Duchovny said no, it was Vancouver, it was too cold for that.

The final bit of banter centered on the difficulty of keeping the X Files script secret for so long. Duchovny explained that basically he WAS irresponsible and that director Chris Carter was right to not trust him with the written script, as he confessed to losing the first draft.

As an anecdote master and with a casual, approachable attitude, Duchovny knows how to be a good talk show guest.  He remained himself, got his numerous plugs in and showed how a pro can use the art of the appearance to stay popular in the public eye.

Every time I see that Will Ferrell is booked on a show, I make an attempt watch it.  Probably because I am a huge fan of his work in films like Anchorman and Blades of Glory, I just expect him to be a great guest.  But like the fans of the glory years of SNL who tunes in week after week only to be let down most of the time, I find myself in the same boat when I tune in for Ferrell.  I so want him to be great on talk shows, but he just isn’t.

Ferrell’s appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson for some kind of late-in-the-day promotion for Step Brothers is a case in point.  As usual, the segment kicked off with a clip from the movie, in contrast to most shows displaying a clip near the end of the interview.  After some amusing interplay over their respective wrist bracelets – Ferrell’s promoting global warming and Craig’s a gift from his son – the comedy advanced in fits and starts.  Ferrell kept trying to ride the Ferguson tidal wave, but his attempts to connect seemed off the mark and scattershot most of the time.  He summoned up his father in the audience.  He let Craig feel his butt.  But mostly, he somewhat timidly (for him) followed Craig’s lead, with both of them finally getting in harmony near the end with a wacky image of a Lord of the Dance extravaganza with Stairmasters on the stage in Las Vegas.

Was it entertaining?  Pretty much so.  But this gets only 3 Whispers because Ferrell came off as a hesitant second banana.  There seems to be only two ways to shine in the Ferguson maelstrom: aggressively take charge and compel Craig’s respect (see our Archives for Kathy Griffin’s star turn on his show) or lay back, feed Craig opportunities and watch for the perfect opening to get in your own comic shot (ditto the Archives for Thandie Newton on The Late Late Show.)  The only certain thing: your standard approach will fail, because this show never depends on old talk show traditions – it’s a pacesetter.

As for Ferrell himself, I’ll keep watching and praying.

One of the Guest Whisperer guidelines for talk show appearances is to keep stories and pitches in the 30-to-60 second range.  This is partly because audiences are conditioned by the fast pace of shows to expect bite-sized nuggets.  Another reason is that short anecdotes keep the guest on track and moving forward.

Rules are made to be broken, of course and Luke Wilson has a Jimmy-Stewart-aw-shucks kind of persona that would feel straitjacketed in a rushed approach to guesting.  Yet I was still worried at first when he launched into a wandering story about shooting a movie at a girl’s college.  You could feel the natives in the bleachers getting restless.

But his laid back approach began paying off, though, as he pulled the audience into his ordinary-guy-in-a-star’s-world life with stories like the teamster driver who picked him up for an early morning shoot.  Wilson was dragging his feet, prompting the driver to admonish him with, “Look, I’ve driven Oliver Stone and Val Kilmer and I’m not in the mood for any of your B.S.!”  When he related how fans often accosted him with “Hey, you’re one of the Owens brothers, right?”, we know the universe is keeping his ego in check.

Promoting his new movie, Henry Poole Is Here, was a tough task, since it is a quirky little, low-key comedy-drama.  As Letterman noted: “A nice simple story – no explosions, no lasers, no Martians…”  At which point Wilson interrupted with “A lotta nudity, though!”  It broke Dave and the audience up, letting us know that the movie, like Luke Wilson, might have some surprises up its sleeve.

It’s not often that we would review the talk show appearance of  a star so recently.  But in the case of Brendan Fraser, he has spent the Summer of ‘08 is the desirable position of having to promote two potential blockbusters released within 30 days of each other.  As I was admittedly critical of his early Summer appearances, I thought it fair to give him another look.  Unfortunately, things haven’t gotten much better.

While he was hawking Journey to the Center of the Earth, I mentioned that Fraser may have taken his movie promotion role a little too seriously, foregoing the fun his personality usually promises.  On his recent outing on The Tonight Show for Mummy 3, he seemed to be over-correcting and trying too hard.  His appearance felt engineered and too rehearsed, with lots of props and plenty of energy, but little genuine connection between him and Jay and even less with the audience.

Things did not get off to a promising start.  There’s an old adage in show business: never work with animals or small children.  Now, if you’d think if anyone could handle this situation, you’d think it would be Brendan Fraser with his vast experience of working with animate and inanimate objects.  Yet he apparently met his match as his appearance was preceded by a contingent of animals that included a woodpecker, jungle cat, raccoons and a massive anteater, and every one of them seemed more at ease in the Guest Seat than Fraser did.

He started out promisingly, trotting through the curtains and acknowledging the band, the audience and even a hey-howdy gesture right into the camera.  But even when he launched into his own animal-related escapades, he seemed curiously forced, with a hint of flop sweat.

What would have helped?  Maybe a touch of the dry humor he exhibited in the first Mummy movie, the kind of wry self-composure that serves the likes of George Clooney and Gillian Anderson so well when they hit the talk show circuit.  Even the action clip from The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor felt full of frenzy rather than fun.  Fraser introduced it with “As you know, I work with animals frequently…”  Maybe they should have kept the anteater on past the commercial!

We have to hand it to James Franco – he did warn us right from the start.  He did his best to lower our expectations.  “I did one other talk show before this [that scintillating talkmeister] Tony Danza…I’m really nervous.”  But even that failed to prepare us for his scattered performance during an appearance to promote his new movie, Pineapple Express.

The ingredients were there.  He had a pocketful of great stories:

•    His grandmother named her dog Dave and decided to teach it Stupid Pet Tricks.
•    His parents hated the idea of him being an actor – now the whole family is in show business
•    In his struggling actor days, he worked at McDonalds and used to pick up girls by doing a fake Italian accents

All terrific stuff, but here was the BIG mistake: these stories were woefully under-rehearsed.  Even the best actors (and James Franco is a real pro) often fail to realize being a talk show guest is about performing.  It takes prep, people!  It’s hard work being naturally you, and just dredging up a few stories (however cute or funny) doesn’t cut it unless you rehearse.  And don’t depend on the show’s producers to get you up to speed – this is a task that should be tackled well in advance.

It’s all so hard on TGW because Franco is just so damn likeable!  He has the potential to be a great guest, once he focuses his anecdotes and gets some feedback (are you listening, managers, agents and publicists?) to help him gauge how his stories work.  We’ll certainly watch for him on his next outing.

In 1996, readers of FHM voted Gillian Anderson the “Sexiest Woman in the World.”  Over a decade later, now 40 years old and sporting an admitted baby bump, Anderson is still major sexy, and she scored big in her Late Show appearance by making David Letterman look sexy, as well!

Although she began her career as a young actress with a punk edge, Anderson has always walked the line between rebellious counterculture icon and respected mature professional.  That balance was evident when she walked onto the Late Show stage, dressed in sleek taupe and black, but with stray wisps of hair escaping her do, looking both elegant and mom-like.  Flirty and irreverent from the start, she asked Dave if he was sucking up to her.  He denied it but, glancing at her b-bump, replied “It looks to me…”  “…like someone else has sucked up to me!?” she finished.  The big laugh that got paved the way for the story of how she and Dave had made out the last time she was on the show.  (A clip provided proof.)   “You didn’t write, you didn’t call,” pouted Anderson, while Dave blushed and ate it all up.

Anderson connected to the show’s ongoing comic campaign coverage with a story about meeting Bill Clinton on the campaign trail.  When Dave turned the focus back to her motherhood, she still kept him tightly in the circle of attention by asking about his being a father.  And she always maintained the flattering flirtatious edge to the banter.  Referring to her ex-pat residence in London, she rued, “After you rejected me, I decided I was going to move…countries.”  By the time a clip from “The X-Files: I Want to Believe” was shown, all it needed to provide was a reminder of her chemistry with David Duchovny; she had already won us over as a star.

How does a deft display of talk showmanship like this pay off?   Anderson’s presence was so memorable that when Simon Pegg came on after her (it’s always good to have a comedian as a closer), he and Dave spent the first part of his appearance talking about…Gillian Anderson!